The Good Wife--Unmanned, and My Inner Alicia

I will confess something. During a very challenging time in my life, when my kid was being harmed by our school system and nobody I spoke to seemed to give a damn, I used to struggle to harness my inner Alicia, the way she gets angry and not scared, the way she puts on her mask, narrows her eyes, and fights, smartly and savagely, for what she believes is right. 

Here's the look, from Monday's show, when she tells her husband she wants a divorce. 















I knew that it is ridiculous to strive to be as dangerous as an actress interpreting a fictional character written by several people who have had time to sit around for days thinking about the best way for her to respond.

Still. When I was so terrified for my kid that I was ready to break into tears at a Verizon commercial, I was helped, immeasurably, by Becoming Alicia. I used her mask to become political--in a literal sense of the word--to organize, to work with allies, to keep my cool despite provocation, and most of all, to be willing to make enemies, without fear, almost with a sense of triumph. 

Yes, Ms. Assistant Superintendent, that was me who wrote that letter to the school board documenting your neglect of the special needs students at this school you are supposed to supervise. Yes, Mr. Special Ed Coordinator, that was me who helped elect a new school board and informed them of your neglect of same. 

Yes, Ms. Principal, I said (in Alicia mode, as though mentioning the weather,) because of your failure to follow the law to support my child's disability, you are responsible for permanent harm to him others at our school. That's on you. I hope that keeps you up at night for the rest of your life. 

So, okay. Here I am personalizing a fictional character. Not a wise move. Like duh. But, honest, it helped. It really helped. 

That's perhaps why it irritates me so much when the writers create an Alicia who says her emotions are divorced from her sexuality, who tolerates a marriage-in-name purely for career gain, and who chooses, as what seems to be her final love object, a twin of her husband. Face to face on Monday night. Look at these guys: eyebrows, nose line, nostril shape, chin, cheekbones, hair line, even hairdo. Jason Crouse, we learn, also (out of left field) has a deep religious faith (Greek Orthodox vs. Catholicism).  And yet, he is a philanderer, and ready to have a heated affair with a woman who is married, no matter how tenuously. 

I am deeply saddened that Alicia choose to sell out Cary Agos.  (who might be Greek Orthodox, as opposed to a Crouse, which is a classically English last name) 

At least, we can celebrate that she has finally asked for a divorce, something that should have happened seven years ago.

Listen, I read once that the average woman takes ten years to leave an intolerable marriage, and when she does, she is often busy making sure her husband has furniture. (!) 

Not his furniture. This belongs to the state. 

So that aspect is likely real. And just because I made someone a heroine doesn't mean she has to act the way I want her to. 

Just like in real life.